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“The Road Back To You” (My thoughts on the book)

BOOK: “The Road Back To You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery”
AUTHOR: Ian Cron & Suzanne Stabile

DISCLAIMER: I am MAJORLY OBSESSED “intrigued” with learning more about personalities, feelings and motivation behind what we do. Before all of my kids knew how to spell their own middle names, I already had an individual binder for each of them. Inside are journal-entries, funny-stories and God-moments worth remembering. On the OUTSIDE… well, over the years, I’ve jotted down areas where I could envision God using their unique strengths (ie: Rayna: nurse, engineer, mom, chef, etc.). I’ve also made notes regarding their “Love Language,” Spiritual Gifts and Myers Briggs Personality-Types. (Told ‘ya!)

Sooo… it’s very possible I might be a tad-bit more passionate about THIS book than most.

SUMMARY:

Although the Enneagram was originally taken from “a modern synthesis of a number of ancient wisdom traditions,” this (updated and Christian-based) book not only explains the nine different personalities, but how these unique tendencies affect our walk with the Lord, others and ourselves.

Each chapter begins with a story about the Enneagram number it’s about to explain. Within each chapter, there are very helpful subjects, such as:

  • “What’s It Like To Be A…” (20 statements to help a person identify)
  • What it looks like to be a healthy, normal or unhealthy version of this number (In my interruption, it’s also how GOD can use your traits to love others or how selfish desires and lies can draw you away from God and others.)
  • Problems and Strengths of each type
  • This type “As Children,”In Relationships” and “At Work”
  • “Ten Paths to Transformation for…” (each number)

YOU’LL LOVE THIS BOOK IF…

  • You enjoy digging-deep into feelings and thought-patterns.
  • You desire to learn more about yourself (and you’re willing to acknowledge your shortcomings in order to grow).
  • You desire to understand others better- knowing that if you understood their motives, fears or desires, you might gain an understanding of why they do what they do.

QUICK FACTS:
Faith-based? Yes
Easy read? Yes
Age group? ANY!

PERSONAL TAKE-AWAYS:

  • I purchased this book for myself, but ended-up learning SO much about other’s in my life. For example, instead of someone as “rigid,” I now understand that person feels safest when set rules and routines are always in place.
  • For myself (Enneagram 4), I was able to understand my motives for somethings I strive to achieve. (Prior to this book, I would not have recognized it in such a way.)
  • God has given us ALL qualities and gifts. We can be intentional and self-aware where these are used for good. But not knowing can often lead to these ‘gifts’ being turned towards selfish gain.

QUOTES:

  • “…most people aren’t aware of how things that helped them survive as kids are now holding them back as adults.”
  • “Each personality’s deadly sin is like an addictive, involuntarily repeated behavior that we can only be free of when we recognize how often we give it the keys to drive our personality. As long as we are unaware of our deadly sin and the way it lurks around unchallenged in our lives we will remain in bondage to it.”
  • “Ones show us God’s perfection and His desire to restore the world to its original goodness, while Twos witness to God’s unstoppable, selfless giving. Threes remind us about God’s glory, and Fours about the creativity and pathos of God. Fives show God’s omniscience, Sixes God’s steadfast love and loyalty, and Sevens God’s childlike joy and delight in creation. Eights mirror God’s power and intensity, while Nines reflect God’s love of peace and desire for union with his children.”

INFORMATION:

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Discovering the Bible

Honestly, I didn’t like it.
I held this gift in my lap, but I couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t, at ALL, what I wanted or even needed.

As I looked at the black-and-white pattern and thick, leather exterior, it felt dated and too formal. It certainly didn’t feel like a case a 22-year old girl would use to carry her new Bible in to church on Sunday mornings. Even though I considered returning the gift Matthew had spent so much time looking for, I knew it wasn’t worth hurting his feelings. Besides, I only saw my Bible and it’s cover an hour each week.


I was right.
The next 13 years passed and that outdated Bible cover was rarely seen. Occasionally, it would cross my mind to grab it before heading to church on Sundays. But, the verses were usually displayed on the big screen at the front. And during our weekly Small Groups at our home, I would sometimes plan to look for it. But usually, my focus would quickly shift from my Bible to whether or not our friends would notice if I added cream cheese to my sausage balls to make them more moist for that night’s snack.


But one day, I made a big decision.
Although I grew-up in church, I had never read the Bible for myself. I believed the stories; but, somehow never truly connected with the words inside. So I decided to give-up FALSE GODS ‘overly important things‘ in my life to SLOW DOWN, press RESET in my spiritual walk with the Lord and actually open that unwanted black-and-white case that had been pushed to the side all these years.

But something began to change.
As I began to really read through the pages in my Bible for the first time, my eyes and heart were opened! The Bible became REAL to me. No longer did I look at the pages as outdated, but now, each page felt VERY alive, EXTREMELY relevant and EXACTLY what I needed that day!

One morning as I read my daily reading plan, Rayna joined me at the kitchen table to color. As I watched her bring her own monotone page alive with crayons, I realized how symbolic that transformation was with my Bible cover AND my spiritual life!

Without any hesitation, I quickly found colorful markers and began adding LIFE to what I once considered lifeless.

Full of LIFE!

For too many years, I had (incorrectly) assumed the Bible was like my cover- good, but a bit outdated (…and not what I thought I needed or wanted in my life). In the same way I was given a Bible cover I didn’t appreciate, my actions proved that the Holy book kept inside was also unappreciated and not treasured.

But in the same way my Bible (and cover!) came ALIVE, so did my HEART when I discovered the BIBLE for myself!

Regardless of your history or hold-ups,
I want to CHALLENGE YOU to READ the BIBLE for yourself!

MY FAVORITE TIPS

The BASICS:

* Choose a TIME & PLACE:
For me, if I don’t read my Bible in the morning, it will not get done. (In certain seasons, I’ve had to wake-up early. Other times, I’ve had to be very stern with my kids and tell them, “For the next 30 minutes, I am reading my Bible- which means I am INVISIBLE.” There were times when a child may have ‘needed’ me to open a container or help with something, but unless it was urgent, I simply reminded them I would be free to help AFTER I finished my Bible study.)

I also intentionally choose a spot that faced the outdoors (vs. at a messy living room or sink filled with dirty dishes). If you’re anything like me, sometimes it’s easier to jump into a ‘quick’ task- saying to yourself, “I’ll read my Bible AFTER I…”

Lastly, I really enjoy a hot cup of coffee or tea. So, I intentionally set a self-discipline that I will ONLY have my coffee DURING my Bible reading time. This gave me incentive each morning to get started!

* Use your (REAL) Bible:
I’ll explain more how an app helped me in the process. But, I am SOOOOO passionate holding your REAL Bible in your hands… with a pen… and highlighter… and (don’t feel overwhelmed, but) a journal.

* After the Lord speaks to you (through His word), continue the process and use this sacred time to PRAY (and talk to Him) afterwards. I plan on writing more about this soon, but there’s ALSO some great tips that have drastically improved my (at-one-point almost non-existent) prayer life!

Choose a PLAN:
* Reading the Bible in a YEAR is my FAVORITE! I have done this the past four years and I’m constantly AMAZED at how God uses my daily, assigned reading to DIRECTLY speak to EXACTLY what I’m walking through!

* You can simply open your Bible, but I LOVE having a daily guide. Even more than a simple guide, I LOVE having a digital version on my phone. Although I read from my (real) Bible, I’ve downloaded YouVersion’s Bible App. Within that app, you can choose from SO many plans! (My favorite is “Canonical”. Unlike chronological which takes you through the EXACT order each book was written, canonical allows you to read straight through the Bible without having to skip-around from book to book based on the exact order.)

Many apps will allow you invite friends to join you, “catch-up” when you fall behind and even show your progress!

Need ENCOURAGEMENT?

* I would love to say that every minute of every day that you’re reading your Bible is pure bliss. However, you will certainly face seasons when you fall behind, don’t understand certain scripture, aren’t interested or simply distracted. This is NORMAL. Please don’t let the enemy win by getting discouraged, beating yourself up and quitting.

Keep on keeping-on!
If you’re behind, no biggie!
If you don’t understand, don’t beat yourself up!
If you don’t feel like it’s speaking to you, ask God to speak to you in another way.

* Ask a friend to join you!

* Check out THIS SERMON where Pastor Nick says it better than me!

Feel like there’s NO TIME?

* Listen HERE for clear, quick tips on making time (from desiring God)
* I plan to blog about this soon, but INTENTIONALLY SLOW DOWN. Say ‘no’ to busy!

DON’T UNDERSTAND?
* The first time I resolved to read through the Bible, I was so happy to have simply ‘gotten through’ it. Meaning, I probably didn’t retain a lot.

However, I was eager to do it again and, the second time, write out verses that spoke to me.



* The third year, my goal was to actually LEARN! For me, it helped to have a notebook and markers. Each day, I tried to makes notes where I could not only LEARN myself, but also teach my kids about it later. For my learning-style, that meant a LOT of (bad) drawings and illustrations. (I also created some ‘fill-in-the-blank’ formats where I could use it to teach my kids.)



* Lastly, before I start each book of the Bible, I try to take a few minutes (usually when I’m putting on make-up or unloading the dishwasher) to watch the overview video produced by The Bible Project. On YouTube, I simply search the book of the Bible and “Bible Project” and I’ll quickly get a great summery of the book I’m about to dive into.

I PRAY this will help to encourage and equip you to get into God’s Word! It has totally transformed my own life.

If you need a buddy, I plan on starting another 1-year plan this November. I would LOVE to be your Bible-buddy!

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Naomi

My sister asked me to snap a few, quick iPhone photos of my niece on our last day at the beach. Even though I was tempted to use my phone (because uploading and sending is WAAAAY easier), I grabbed my “big camera” and headed to the sand.

Even though I’m a HUGE fan of learning photography tricks on smartphones, there’s NOTHING like the color and clarity that only a “big camera” can produce.

Our Little Mermaid…

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Maui: Favorite Spots

For our 15 year anniversary several years ago, Matthew and I traded-in some hotel points and booked our first trip to Maui. The warm breeze, beautiful waters and scenic coast quickly told us we would be back again (…and again) (… and again) (…and ‘let’s go ahead and plan ‘Road to Hana’ for next year’s trip too’)!

During the past three trips, we’ve learned a lot about Maui! If you missed “Maui on a BUDGET,” you can see it HERE.

But, for now, let’s talk about some of my FAVORITE things to DO in MAUI!

  • Walk the Beach
    I’m going to give you 3 hard-to-believe facts:
    1. ALL of these photos are quick-shots off my iPhone. (I mention this to prove how GORGEOUS Maui really is! No Photoshop or fancy camera needed.)
    2. ALL of these places were areas we stumbled across during beach walks. (No planning or searching for beautiful spots.)
    3. These ALL felt like our private, secret spots. One of the wonderful things about Maui is how private it feels.
  • Enjoy the FOOD
    As I wrote HERE, you can save a lot of money and STILL experience wonderful the wonderful food of Maui! My favorite spots are the FOOD TRUCKS and Kihei Cafe!
    (Suggestion: Bring cash to Kihei Cafe and pay extra for banana and macadamia nuts on top of the already-amazing french toast! The line looks long, but moves fast!)
Kihei Cafe
Food trucks by the airport
  • Ho’okipa Beach Park (in Pa’Ia)
    If you LOVE sea turtles, make this trip a priority! You’ll see turtles all over the island, but this place seems to be their favorite spot to hang-out.
When you see the surfboard gate, you’ll know you’re there!
  • ‘Iao Valley
    If you’re a rule-follower, you may only be here an hour. But if you’re willing to get dirty and ignore “Do Not Enter” signs, this could be a FUN day-trip!
    (Suggestion: Do not be a rule-follower.)

  • Snorkle
    Even if you’re not a big fan of TRYING TO STAY ALIVE IN COLD WATERS WHILE BIG WAVES KNOCK YOU AROUND AND YOUR CHEAP MOUTH PIECE GETS FILLED-UP WITH WATER ONCE AGAINsnorkeling,’ you absolutely MUST snorkel in Maui!
    I’m sure there’s more to see than the beautiful sea turtles, but that’s reason alone to spend hours in the clear, beautiful Maui waters.
    (Suggestion: Wear water shoes!)


Haleakala National Park
  • Whale Tour
    If you’re lucky enough to be Maui when the whales visit (November-May), you’ll CERTAINLY see them from the beach. However, it was REALLY special to be in their domain and witness them up close.
    (Suggestion: Although we were happy with our large boat, we heard smaller water-crafts were better for being eye-level and getting a little closer.)
I spy a baby humpback whale!
  • Resort Amenities
    The beauty of Maui has nothing to do with where you sleep at night. However, if you have the opportunity to spend a little extra, cash-in some travel points or use a promotion, I would highly recommend Marriott’s Wailea Beach Resort. The excellent customer care and adult-only infinity pool overlooking the ocean were just two of the reasons why it’s always a highlight of our week.
    (Suggestion: Save money by “treating” yourself to a nice resort 1-3 nights. Moving around to a less-expensive hotel also lets you experience other parts of the island.)
Marriott’s Wailea Beach Resort

  • Helicopter Tour
    Any helicopter ride is fun, but can you imagine hovering over the base of some of the most BEAUTIFUL waterfalls in the entire world? Well, that’s what you’ll get if you take a helicopter tour of Moloka’i!

  • Luau
    I’ll be honest… my expectations were too high. Because of what I’d seen in movies and dreamed-up in my head, I envisioned sitting in the sand with a huge pig in the ground in front of me… all while fire was being tossed around by gorgeous natives with real straw skirts.
    (Suggestion: If you go, expect a good show and a long-wait to a decent buffet.)

  • Drive Around!
    I’ve yet to find a part of Maui’s coastline that isn’t remarkable! If you have a rental car, take a day to simply explore the coast.

  • Enjoy YOUR View!
    Yes, Maui is one of the most BEAUTIFUL places in the world, but, honestly, my BEST moments in Maui are of the person I got to share my memories with.
    If you’re lucky enough to visit this amazing place with someone you love, don’t over-plan and simply enjoy the person beside you!
    (SUGGESTION: Bring a Blue-tooth speaker, a fun playlist and take time to simply take in the view!)
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MAUI (…on a budget!)

Each year when Maui sees that, ONCE AGAIN, it’s won the prestigious award of “Best Island in the World,” it gives all the restaurants, hotels and stores the thumbs-up to increase prices even more. (Or at least that’s how it plays out in my own mind.)

Whales, sea turtles, dolphins, waterfalls, forests, mountains and breathtaking hikes
are just a FEW of the reasons why Maui has held this title for TWENTY consecutive years! But it also explains why it seems impossible to visit this magical place on a budget.

But being a thrifty gal, I’ve discovered some really SIMPLE ways to experience paradise without going broke! Here’s a few tips:

During our walk to breakfast (iPhone)



FOOD:
* FOOD TRUCKS! Maui has some WONDERFUL food trucks and is ALWAYS our 1st stop once we leave the airport! (There’s a parking lot across Costco with several great food truck options. However, check hours!)
* Pack snacks and granola bars. Since all Maui’s food must be shipped in to their island, it’s naturally much more expensive to buy your favorite foods.
* Pack a refillable water bottle. Most resorts have fruit-infused water in the lobby where you can refill and save money throughout the day.
* HAPPY HOUR: Most restaurants offer discounted prices before the evening crowd. My favorite Happy Hour places are Monkey Pod and Japengo.
* GROCERY STORE: We always make a quick stop at the grocery store where we’re not eating out every meal.
* Discount cards from hotel. We’re always grabbing free appetizers or desserts using the discount cards given by the hotel lobby.
* Skip a meal! When in Maui, it’s a MUST to eat (at least ONCE) at Kihei Cafe! Not only is it INCREDIBLE food, there’s enough food to actually SKIP the next meal! We go at least once each visit and I’ve never been able to eat lunch after their AMAZING french toast breakfast (Portuguese sweet bread dipped in our decadent french toast batter … fresh n’ local Bananas & Macadamia Nuts with a coconut syrup.) Remember to bring CASH.



GETTING AROUND:
* Rental car: It’s nearly impossible to NOT rent a car when you’re on the most beautiful island in the world. However, you’ll probably save $$$ choosing a rental facility NOT at the airport.
* WALK: During our most recent trip, we skipped the rental car (and daily parking fees) and, as a result, ended-up making some of our BEST memories on FOOT!
* Trolly/Shuttle/Bikes: Many hotels and areas offer FREE services. Just ask!
* Bus: This is NOT for the faint-of-heart (nor a first-timer to Maui), but we purchased a public transit bus ticket ($4 a person per day) to get us all around the island. (Between the waiting time and confusion navigating bus numbers, many would say this is NOT worth the money you’ll save using Uber or renting a car.)


The BEST things are FREE!
* Bluetooth speakers + a FUN playlist = BEST.DAY.EVER!
* Beautiful hikes
* Hidden beach trails
* Turtle, whale and dolphin watching


EXCURSIONS:
* Explore on your OWN! Instead of spending all day with a group, save money by discovering Maui’s beauty on your OWN! Not only will you still see all the wonder, you’ll likely get to swim ALONE with a big sea turtle!
* If you’re taking a whale-watching tour, consider a smaller vessel. Not only will you possibly save money, you will probably end-up much closer to the whales than the larger boats.
* This is NOT for the faint-of-heart (nor the easily persuaded), however, if you’re willing to give up 90 minutes of your vacation, viewing a time-share presentation can save you LOTS of money on excursions! (Last year, in exchange for attending a 90-minute presentation, Matthew and I received (2) Helicopter Rides and (2) Whale Watching Tours.)



RESORTS & FLIGHTS:
* Sign-up for notifications of deals with Expedia and other travel sites
* Consider using a credit card that will allow you to earn points for travel
* Consider your risk when paying a tiny-bit less for airfare. Although we knew better, we choose American Airlines based on price and ended-up losing an ENTIRE day due to their mistake. Our return flight was ALSO cancelled which ended-up costing us an extra travel day, PLUS added expense. (Currently, American Airlines is not reimbursing us at all for both of their mistakes and all of our extra expenses.)

PACK:
* Cash
* Snacks
* Snorkel gear
* Water shoes
* Only the basics! You’ll spend most of your time in a bathing suit. No hair products required. (I always pack light enough where I can simply bring a ‘carry-on’ with me.)


If you have other tips, I’d love to hear!

Meanwhile, click HERE to read “Maui: Favorite Spots” with a list of Maui highlights!









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Andrea & Jeff

I was so happy to not only visit Andrea and Jeff’s beautiful property, but also meet the rest of their family. Here’s a few from our time together…

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The SNEAKIEST Sneak-Peak

It was SUCH a crazy plan, in the minutes leading up to it, I found myself sitting alone in front of Crystal Bridges Museum of Art with a BIG smile on my face (…silently wondering if this scheme was actually going to work).

Christy told me how she’d really like updated photos of her family, but was afraid everyone else might SAY NO not be as excited as her. And THAT‘s when she came up with an OUTRAGEOUS idea!

Christy and her husband, David, asked her parents to join them for their first visit to Crystal Bridges. She also mentioned that her friend, Christy, would be meeting them there to show them around.

(Are you starting to see where this is going?!?!?)

Everything was lining-up perfectly!

* Their (pre-planned) outfits were colorful, well-blended and not too matchy.
* Purses and distractions were all left in the car.
* Those cute little “Crystal Bridges” shirt-buttons were all discretely hidden in my backpack (to save me LOTS of time in Photoshop later).

Now the ONLY thing standing in the way of photos was ME. You see, when I get NERVOUS, I start talking a LOT. So, being a Crystal Bridges JUNKIE, before even stepping foot in the actual museum, I began educating them on EVERYTHING I had EVER learned about one of my FAVORITE places! (And I’ve taken a LOT of tours, field trips and information-walks over the past 5 years!)

After about 20 minutes of me explaining “We the People,” “Mamam,” and all the fascinating facts about the architecture, I remembered I was there as their PHOTOGRAPHER, not their official TOUR GUIDE!

Now to the TRICKY part…

I casually directed my captive audience outdoors (thank you, “Fly’s Eye” for that perfect detour) when Christy’s mom, Donna, said, “Oh, we should have brought our camera!”

Without seeming over-enthusiastic, I quickly said, “Oh, I actually have my camera with me.”

The next hour was spent ‘touring’, laughing and me LEADING THEM TO BELIEVE I WAS INSANE non-nonchalantly asking them if I could please snap a “quick picture”.

Also being a girl who LOVES natural (MUCH more than posed), I actually enjoyed this challenge!


Thank you, Christy, for trusting ME with your genius plan! Not only did we do a fun ‘tour‘, we got lots of fun pictures to document your special day and wonderful family!


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